6/19/18

JULIE NEWMAR DOES KORVETTES



Without the long-defunct east coast department store chain Korvettes, it's safe to say we wouldn't have a  Walmarts or a Costco. E. J. Korvette (nee Kerfauf), the founder of this junky suburban bin of trash, brought a number of new ideas to the shopping world, including discounting (then illegal), subscription shopping (a la Costco) and expanding to distant suburbs instead of sticking around the business center of towns. This last innovation proved to be his greatest non-contribution to our country's culture.  Every time you find yourself driving in a somewhat isolated and undeveloped area and then suddenly see a huge, ugly windowless/charm-free building looming on the horizon off the highway, you have Korvette to thank. The business went bankrupt in 1980 after thirty-plus years. Why? I don't know. But the above commercial might offer some clue to the clueless management of the chain. They managed to hire the fiery, leggy and impossible-not-to-be-sexy Julie Newmar to do an ad for their stores and then failed to actually use more than five seconds of her on screen. The ad is as cheap and pointless as the store itself; Julie comes out, giving up a brief glimpse of her luscious gams, then sits in a chair and begins rattling off product names. Do we stay on her? Of course not. We cut to shots of the products themselves because they were so frigging beautiful.

I hope Julie got a decent payday for her half-an-hour of work though somehow I doubt the check cleared. They probably paid her in discounted products. Even as I write this I can picture the sight of a behemoth Korvettes off a dismal highway somewhere in outer Long Island. Blecchhh.

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