My previous explorations of the cheerfully cheesy WOR, Channel 9 from New Jersey aesthetic have yielded some real crap TV--Morton Downey Jr was the King of the station, after all. But here's a clip from Howard Stern's show circa 1991 that manages to encapsulate the Channel 9 experience in a way that outskeevs anything Downey Jr. did.  It's a sketch called "The Hookers Price Is Right." In it, Stern plays the host, Bob Porker, and one of the contestants is Fred "Rerun" Berry, from "What's Happening" (pathetically it really is him). The prostitutes are real and they're awfully sad. Far worse though are the audience members, a motley collection of Jersey-bred suburban low-rent thugs with late 80s haircuts who are seen clapping and urging the revolting proceedings along. Among the prizes are porno videos, KY jelly and lunch in the WOR cafeteria with one of the hookers. (The stenchy cafeteria is briefly pictured and is exactly what you'd expect). The sketch is like a Downey Jr. show in that it provokes an intense need for a lengthy, soapy shower in its wake. The best line belongs to Robin Quivers who, after one of the girls says she started hooking at age thirteen, exclaims "Most kids don't know what they want to do when they're thirteen. That's impressive!"

 Subscribe in a reader